I have…

1. Cleaned up a mysterious pee puddle in the girls’ bathroom (in front of the shower, nowhere near a toilet)
2. Instructed a girl to “come back over here and wipe [her] loogie off the outside of my trash can.”
3. Called the clinic to see if we can get a health aide to do a talk on basic hygiene while a child puked in my (other) trash can
4. Called said kid’s mom because he puked in my trash can
5. Asked Geoff to give the aforementioned kid a ride home because his mom had no fuel in her machine
6. Sent more than half the kids in my class home sick, most on foot
7. Wiped down all of my desks and chairs with bleach
8. Wheeled a chair out of the room because it smelled like someone had pooped on it
9. Arranged for someone to have a talk with the stinky-bottomed child
10. Administered a state standardized test

Update (3:30 pm)

I have now, in addition to the previous items,

1. Taught two kids to play Dominion
2. Lost my temper with an adult (understandably, I think. It’s been quite a day)